There comes a time in everyone’s life that they face change. It sometimes comes as a surprise and sometimes it is planned. In every case, at least for me, the other side of change has been brighter. While there were indeed dark times during the change-period, I emerged. I do not know if this is because of my nature or my thirst for trying new things. Fear has never played a big part in my life–except maybe when I saw Bate’s mother’s skeleton in the basement during the final scenes of Hitchcock’s “Psycho.” I think I was twelve at the time.
Recently a change has been set into motion by events outside my normal sphere. They have caused me to question precisely what makes me happy, who I am, and how I interact with others. Where does joy reside? I also recently received a commission to do a new drawing. While I was a bit reluctant at first, I agreed so long as it was done on my own terms and was “take-it-or-leave-it.” After nearly 30 hours, it was finished. It was invigorating and almost trance-like. With the permission of the patron, I posted the image on my FaceBook page. To my surprise, it has been wonderfully received. This is very encouraging–as I, like artists throughout history, continually question my abilities and my insights.
With this encouragement, coupled with the recent change agents, I am going to be focusing most of my creative energy on making art. I have bought a new, very small building near our house in Merida where I can “be messy” and “be myself.” I do not have to “tidy up” or self censor. I can leave work in place and not put things away each week for the cleaners. If I do not feel like cleaning up, I won’t. If I do not want anyone to come in, they won’t. If I want to work all night I will. The images I make and the images I observe will be my business.
It is time to dive deep and find out who and where I am. I am certainly not what I thought I was. And I will not be defined by what other people think I am or am not. Stay tuned…Merida will be the perfect place for this new chapter.